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Mommy, why does she have a wife?

August 27, 2022 /

If I had been asked this question four years ago, I wouldn’t have known what to say. But one day at a playground with friends, another mom asked what I thought about same-sex marriage. I told her I didn’t know. I’d grown up thinking that homosexuality was a sin. But some of my favorite seminary professors taught that we had misinterpreted the Bible, and that consensual gay sex wasn’t wrong. So I really didn’t know what to think. But I was ok with that; I’ve never felt the need to have an opinion on everything. I’d spent the past several years creating a home and raising babies. I was wrestling with sleep training, not sexual identity.

But her question got me thinking. Not having an opinion on social and political issues, or analyzing someone else’s relationship with God, was one thing when talking with adults. But being unprepared for important conversations with my kids felt like quite another. I knew the time was coming when it would be they, and not my married friends, who would be asking these questions. And if I learned anything in seminary, it was that early messages matter. So I began reading and listening, first to straight theologians and pastors, but then to those who have personally wrestled with their sexual and gender identities. They have come to various conclusions as to the Bible’s teaching on sexuality. But all of their stories have been gifts to me, both challenging my assumptions and helping to clarify my understanding of God’s word. And now the time has come for me to actually communicate these convictions to my kids.

In full disclosure, we haven’t had this entire conversation yet. I’ve often heard the advice to keep things simple. So we’ve only talked about bits and pieces of these topics, as they’ve come up. Nevertheless, I know that the new school year will likely bring new questions, so I want to be prepared to communicate well when the time comes. Our kids pick up on our discomfort with hard topics. So my hope is that in really thinking through and articulating these things, now, I can communicate simply and honestly, when it really matters. Because as Stan and Brenna Jones have articulated in How and When to Tell your Kids about Sex, first messages are the most potent.

And so I offer my words to you, friends, that they might spur you on to think through your own responses to these hard questions. For the sake of clarity, I’ve written the child’s questions in bold, with my responses in regular type. Also, I should note that my kids are in the first and second grades. I know that this will be an evolving conversation and will look very different after we’ve talked in more depth about puberty and sexual desire. But prior to having those major conversations about those topics, this is how I will likely respond to their questions now.

Mommy, why does she have a wife?

This is one of those areas where we believe that the Bible teaches something different than what most people in our broader culture believe. In our country, marriage is seen as a special promise between two people who love each other, no matter who they are. That means that anybody can get married, whether they are men or women. We agree that marriage is a special promise, but believe that the Bible describes Christian marriage as a unique relationship bringing together a man and a woman to become a new family.

But why does it have to be a man and a woman? Well, can you remember what the Bible says will happen when Jesus’ returns to the earth on the clouds? He’ll make all things new and be with us forever? That’s right! Jesus’ coming is described as a wedding, and the Church is called “the Bride of Christ.” So the Bible says that human marriage between a man and a woman- taking two people who are fundamentally different, and uniting them together to make a new family- is a picture of how someday God will bring Jesus and the church together. So since this is what marriage represents- God bringing together two things that are completely different- two men or two women don’t reflect that.

But what if I don’t care about representing Jesus? Can I just have a regular marriage? Doesn’t God just want us to love others? Hmmm. Those are really good questions. And the simple answer is yes, when you grow up, you’ll be able to marry whoever you like, whether a man or woman. But here’s the thing. God made our hearts to be most deeply satisfied when we’re following God’s good plans for our lives.

And I don’t believe that marriage between two men or two women is God’s best plan. So I don’t think that will lead to your deepest joy. I love being married to your dad, but my moments of deepest joy are when I’m feeling close to God. If you, Adam, don’t want to marry a woman, or if you, Lydia, don’t want to marry a man, that tells me that God’s good plan for your lives doesn’t include marriage, at least not then. Can you think of people we know or have read about who have done amazing things without being married? Daniel, Jesus, the apostle Paul in the Bible, and then Corrie Ten Boom, Harriet Tubman, Gladys Allyward, Eric Liddell, Amy Carmichael, Christopher Yuan, and your friends Kathy, Jeni, and Miss Cheryl? Great remembering! And what are some things they’ve been able to do because they weren’t married? (with significant prompting, I imagine!) Daniel served in the royal court of Babylon. Paul traveled around the world telling people about Jesus. Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsy hid Jewish people in their secret room. Harriet Tubman led hundreds of slaves to freedom on the Underground Railroad. Gladys Allyward traveled around China unbinding little girls’ feet and then led 100 children through the mountains to safety during a war. Eric Liddell won a gold medal in the Olympics and then became a missionary. Amy Carmichael rescued girls from being temple slaves and became their mother. Christopher Yuan travels all over speaking in churches and teaching people how to follow Jesus. Kathy was a college professor who loved her students and helped them believe in themselves. Jeni is a missionary who helps women who used to be slaves. Miss Cheryl shares God’s love with homeless people and wants to tell people about Jesus in jails. That’s right! God does want us to love others. And being married and raising children are one of the main ways many people love and serve one another. But marriage isn’t the only way to love people. And God has made some special people to love and serve others without being married. Sometimes we call this “singleness.” These people often have more energy to love those outside of their own families.

But I love my friends. Does that make me gay? No, loving your friends doesn’t make you gay because there are different kinds of love. My love for pizza is very different than my love for your Daddy! The Bible actually uses 4 different Greek words that are all translated into the English word, “love.” Three of them— “storge,” which is how babies love their mommies, “phillia,” which is the love between good friends, and “agape,” which is the unconditional love of God—are wonderful for boys to feel for other boys, and girls to feel for other girls. In fact, God made us to love each other in these 3 ways! But the 4th kind of love, “eros,” is a different, romantic kind of love that makes grown ups want share their entire bodies with each other, the way God designed people to do in marriage. That’s the kind of love that Daddy and I have only for each other. And that kind of love- eros- should only grow between one man and one woman.

So is God mad at gay people? Absolutely not! But tell me what you mean by “gay people.” That’s a tricky phrase that can mean a couple of different things. I’m meaning people who want to marry someone like themselves- a man who wants to marry another man, or a woman who wants to marry another woman. That’s a great clarification; thank you for explaining what you meant! First of all, it’s not a sin for a man to want to marry another man, or for a woman to want to marry another woman. Wanting something that God says “no” to is a temptation, not a sin. The Bible says that even Jesus was tempted to want things that God said “no” to in the wilderness, and He was the perfect son of God! All of us are tempted to want things that aren’t God’s best for us. At night when you go to bed I’m tempted to make myself a batch of chocolate chip cookies! And is God angry with me for being tempted? No way! Does being tempted show how bad I am? No way! The Bible says that God loves us and is with us, helping us to stand firm when we’re being tempted to want what isn’t God’s best for us.

But what about when I choose to ignore the Holy Spirit’s help, and I don’t stand firm? Is God mad then?  Well, what does the Bible tell us in Psalm 103? The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever. He does not treat us as our sins deserve, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth so great is His love for those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Yeah. The Bible says that it was while we were still separated from God that Jesus died for us. God is love. So even if people are ignoring God, God still loves them.

But aren’t they bad, since they haven’t asked Jesus to forgive them? They may be separated from God, but that doesn’t make them bad. There are still many areas of their lives that beautifully reflect God, because they were created in God’s image. So I believe they bring God glory just by being who God designed them to be! The way they “storge love” and “phillia love” one another, and how they serve one another reflects God. The way they welcome others into their home reflects God. The way they’re caring for children glorifies God. There are many parts of their lives that are very good, because they were made in God’s image. But even though there are many ways in which they do reflect God, I don’t believe their “eros love,” or their marriage, is one of them. But let me ask you a question: We’re created in God’s image, too. But are any of us good enough to be saved without Jesus? No. That’s right. We are all created in the image of God, and we all need Jesus to forgive our sin so that we can be with him forever.

But they’re not followers of Jesus, right? That’s a really tough one. Let me ask you a question. When I was impatient with you, this morning, was that a sin? Yes. And did it stop me from being a Christian? No. What about you, when you got mad and hit me, yesterday, was that a sin? Yes. Were you still a child of God? Yes. Now, when I was impatient with you and when you hit me, were we reflecting Jesus? No. And what were the consequences? We hurt one another and felt lonely. Right. So we can sin, and even have consequences for sin, while still being children of God.

Now, the Bible also says that if we know God’s word and continuously choose to ignore God, that is really serious, because when the Holy Spirit is working in our hearts, God changes us to become more like Jesus. It doesn’t mean that we’re perfect. But it does mean that we’re wanting to become more like Him.

So I don’t know if they’re followers of Jesus because I don’t know their hearts.

The other tricky thing is that while the Bible is perfectly true, our understanding of it is not. The apostle Paul says it’s like looking through a glass dimly, which always makes me think of a foggy window. And some of the Greek words in the Bible can actually mean different things. It’s like in our book about archeology– scientists take everything that they know- there’s a bone, here, and an arrowhead, here, and spots where the poles were, here, and a burned spot there- and they put together the pieces to show what life was probably like a long time ago. But there’s a chance that they haven’t gotten the pieces together quite right because they weren’t actually there. Now, does their misunderstanding of the truth change what actually happened? No. Well, it can be a little like that when understanding the Bible. God’s word is completely true. God doesn’t change based on what we think. So we do our best to know God by understanding God’s word! And most of the Bible is clear. But since it was written in a different time, language, and culture, there are some things we just don’t understand, yet.

Our church believes that God’s plan for Christian marriage is to be between one man and one woman. But there are other churches that believe differently. I disagree with them, but anyone who says that they love Jesus with all their hearts and whose lives show the evidence of the Holy Spirit’s fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control, sure looks like a follower of Jesus to me! I believe following God’s design for marriage and singleness is very important. But I can’t say that someone else isn’t following Jesus because we disagree about this.

We just can’t know what God is doing in someone else’s life. It’s like in The Horse and His Boy, when Shasta asks Aslan what happened to Aravis. Do you remember how Aslan responds? He says he’s telling Shasta his own story, and that he doesn’t tell anyone anybody’s story except his own. Yeah. It reminds me of the story in the Bible when Jesus is talking to Peter after being raised from the dead. It’s in John 21. Jesus had just told Peter that someday Peter would be killed the way Jesus, himself, had been killed. Peter sees John and asks Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me.” This tells me that it’s usually not our job to figure out what God is doing in someone else’s life or what God wants them to do. But we are responsible to obey what God is saying to us. And we think the Bible says that gay marriage is wrong for followers of Jesus. Our choices are either to marry someone of the opposite sex or to discover all of the good that God has for us in singleness.


Alright, grownups Remember that this is going to be an evolving conversation with many layers. So the way I’ve responded to young elementary kids might be overly simplistic in just a few years. Or this may be way too much for your kids. Nevertheless, I believe these to be important foundations that will both satisfy my kids’ questions and can be later built upon as they grow and encounter new situations. In summary, here are a few of my key convictions that I want to make sure my kids catch.

  • God loves all people. Created in God’s image, all people reflect God’s goodness and are worthy of respect. As a group, straight Christians have too often failed to live out this truth of God’s love for LGBTQ people. So we have a lot of baggage to work through before this love will be easily received. Furthermore, within many evangelical churches our kids will naturally pick up on prejudicial attitudes toward the LGBTQ community unless we are intentional in dismantling both the theology and pride and that can lead to straight people’s feelings of superiority, and same-sex attracted kids’ feelings of shame and inferiority. So this is an area to which we’ll need to give particular attention as our kids grow.
  • Many followers of Jesus experience same-sex attraction. Most people would describe this experience as being gay. Our kids may be among those who love the Lord with their whole hearts, souls, minds, and strength and yet find themselves wrestling with their sexuality (and gender identities).
  • In our country, marriage is seen as a special promise between two people who love each other, no matter who they are. That means that anybody can get married, whether they’re men or women. We agree that marriage is a special promise, but believe that the Bible describes Christian marriage as a unique relationship bringing together a man and a woman to become a new family.
  • If a man doesn’t want to marry a woman, we believe that God has good plans for him as a single man. If a woman doesn’t want to marry a man, we believe that God has good plans for her as a single woman. Though we agree with the broader culture that sexual desire isn’t chosen and insist upon the truth that God loves and accepts gay people just as they are, we disagree with the logic that homosexual desires are therefore worthy of being pursued.
  • The Bible is perfectly true, but our interpretation / understanding of is not. Thus, Christians believe different things about marriage. We are each responsible to God, both for our convictions and our behavior.

Dear God, thank You for allowing us to have these important conversations with our kids! Thank You for Your word, and thank You for the men and women who have humbly and courageously shared their stories of wrestling with sexual identity. Thank You for the ways in which their testimonies are helping us better understand Your word and are bearing fruit in the lives of our children. Bless them today. Please forgive us and our communities for ways in which we’ve misrepresented You and failed to love our neighbors as ourselves. And bless these parents and their children. We trust you to guide us as we raise our kids to engage their world with Your grace and truth. May we be people who rest in Your love, extend Your welcome, and are excited by Your good plans for our lives. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Mommy, do you think Jesus will come back soon to make all things new?

August 16, 2021 /

We were pulling out of our driveway when my five year old asked about Jesus’ return. Although we virtually never watch the news and are very mindful of little ears when discussing the world’s problems, they had been paying closer attention than what I’d realized. And so I took a deep breath and smiled as I responded with wonder, “I think God might have chosen us to fight in The Last Battle (a reference to the final book in C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series)! Most of the things that Jesus said would happen before His return are being fulfilled now, and Jesus said that when we see these things happening we should pay attention because His return would be coming soon. So we know we are getting close. Now, the Bible also says that a thousand years in our time are like a day to the Lord, so it could still be a while. But after all these years that Jesus’ followers have been waiting and waiting and waiting, I suspect that we might actually get to see the fulfillment of these promises!”

My heart has been heavy and brain foggy, these past several months. And I know I’m not alone. But there’s also been a spark of wonder growing into a flame of conviction. Like Frodo in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, my kids might wish to have been born into a different age. And in my weakness and shortsightedness, I wish that they had been. But this is their destiny. They have been born for such a time as this. And so, like Gandolf, I am committed to helping them carry that burden so long as it is theirs to bear. The question is where to go from here. How do we parent in these days? More specifically, how do we disciple our kids through so many natural disappointments and fears while simultaneously cultivating the strength, hope, and vision that they’ll need in the years to come?

There is so much that I don’t know. So much that I have to learn. So many areas in which to grow. But here are some things that I know I must prioritize, today.

The Big Story. This is where we find ourselves. God created a perfect world which was broken by sin, redeemed through Jesus’ death, and will someday be restored when Jesus returns to make all things new. This is the story in which we find ourselves. And we use it. all. the. time. Questions about why people die? The Big Story. Questions about why thieves steal? The Big Story. Questions about earthquakes and tsunamis? The Big Story. Questions about hope and love? The Big Story. Questions about why Mommy can be so impatient? The Big Story. Questions about gender and sexuality? The Big Story. Questions about a world that appears to be spinning out of control? The Big Story. Knowing where we’re at in this Big Story helps us put all of our little stories in context. If you’d appreciate a refresher on this overarching plot, I know of no better telling than Sally Lloyd Jones’ The Jesus Storybook Bible.

Bible stories. I must also tell my kids the smaller stories that make up The Big Story. The most important of these are found in the Bible. A few years ago I reflected on the role that I believe Bible stories must have played in the gritty faith of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And today more than ever, our kids need to be having their imaginations and worldviews shaped by stories of God’s faithfulness and power in the midst of human suffering, frailty, and evil. Furthermore, Bible stories can help them see this faithfulness and power as both absolute and nuanced. A few years ago I wrote about telling a group of three year olds about the martyrdom of Stephen, after having been convicted that they need stories of both God’s deliverance from death and God’s presence in death. I’ve written about how to choose a Bible storybook, along with some of my favorite Bibles and Bible storybooks for different ages here (ages 0-2, ages 2-4, and 5+).

Hero stories. It was on a high school missions trip that I was first captivated by the stories of faith heroes like Amy Carmichael, William Booth, George Mueller, D.L. Moody, Eric Liddell, and Jim Elliot. I read their biographies. I adopted their practices. I cannot overestimate their role in shaping my understanding of discipleship, courage, and integrity. But then I actually lived overseas. And met other disciples from different streams of Christianity. And got married. And had kids of my own. Life got complicated. So I went from reading about heroes of faith to ideas about faith. I think it probably needed to happen, developmentally, but it was nevertheless a loss. So I’m thankful that several years ago I was reintroduced to many of these heroes and met some new ones through Eric Metaxas’ Seven Women and Seven Men. And now I’m getting to share their lives with my kids. One of my favorite picture books is Corrie Ten Boom: The Courageous Woman and the Secret Room. We’re also going through Dave and Neta Jackson’s Hero Tales: A Family Treasury at dinner (I’d recommend pre-skimming, as these are intended for slightly older kids). Another resource we love is the dramatized audio biographies produced by Your Story Hour. Our kids need to know these heroes, both to cultivate a vision for their own lives, and also so that when things do get hard they’ll know themselves to be surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who have faced great challenges and overcome.

Great stories (and fairy tales). About a year ago one of my kids saw a magazine that sparked a conversation about persecution. One of them responded that he/she wouldn’t want to be a follower of Jesus if it meant opposing the powers that be. And so I backed off (and prayed). Fast-forward to the conversation that sparked this post. When I checked in with my kids’ hearts by asking, “So, how do you feel hearing that we might fight in the last battle?” The same child who had previously been so afraid now responded with awe, “Amazing.” The difference? Great stories. We’ve read about St. George persevering in his fight against the dragon, Tumtum and Nutmeg courageously defending General Marchmouse, the Prince Warriors battling the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, the Boys in the Boat winning gold in the 1936 Berlin Olympics, and Aslan’s great power and faithfulness throughout the Narnia series. Granted, my kid could have just been a year older. And of course God is answering my prayers! But I’m also thankful for these great stories.

Memorization. I recently listened to an interview with Corrie Ten Boom, who recalled a time in a Nazi concentration camp when she asked God to give her a Bible verse for each woman that she passed. And God did it! Just as Jesus had promised in the upper room, the Holy Spirit recalled to her memory various passages that she’d memorized over the course of her life. I’m similarly reminded of people with dementia who cannot recall their own name but will quote Scripture or sing familiar hymns learned in their childhood. This past year I’ve chosen one passage of Scripture each month or two to read many days while my kids are eating breakfast. I haven’t expected them to memorize it, per se, but just wanted to sink the words into their minds. This coming year I plan to spend 2-4 minutes each evening after dinner using Sonya Shafer’s system of learning and reviewing Scripture. The passages that I’ve prioritized, this past year, have been Psalm 23, Psalm 139:7-12, Isaiah 43:1-3a, The Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 1, Psalm 19, 1 Corinthians 13, and Isaiah 9:6-7, along with several verses learned in Sunday School and Bible Study Fellowship. Another easy (and fun!) way that we memorize Scripture is through music. There are many, many artists who have set Scripture to music, some of my favorites being Steve Green, Dana Dirksen, and Seeds Family Worship. I’ve created a public Spotify playlist with these that you can certainly pull from in creating your own playlist, although I’ll *warn* you that if you just use mine, it also includes our Bible Study Fellowship songs, Sunday School songs, and favorite versions of hymns we’ve learned (which we also do monthly).

Cultivating discernment. Though I have not made a count myself, Mike Bickle claims that New Testament writers warn more about end-times deception than end-times persecution. He goes on to warn that in the years leading up to the Lord’s return, the world will be changing so rapidly that the young adults of that time will need incredible discernment because the generation before them won’t understand the world in which they’re living (hello, TikTok!). I’m not quite sure how to do this (and would gladly take ALL of your suggestions in the comments!), but nevertheless recognize it as a priority. One thing that we’ve started doing is pointing out situations where things are not as they seem (like with virtual reality), and also the power of a narrator and how people can draw such different conclusions from the same events and observations. Two books that have opened some of these conversations for us have been Archeologists Dig for Clues and The Geology Book. As they get older I think I’ll also look into resources that teach logic/ rhetoric, but we haven’t gone there yet. We’re getting into some really hard topics, but I’ve often recalled my brother’s wisdom (maybe taken from Jordan Peterson?) that one of our main jobs as parents is to prepare our kids for the world in which they’ll actually live. And so we’re thinking a lot about discernment and deception.

Celebrating life. Finally, Sally Clarkson says that our homes are to be outposts of God’s kingdom in a broken and fallen world. So in world characterized by chaos, fear, and division, our homes are called to radiate peace, hope, and radical love. This can be crazy hard work, but it is good. In his book, Culture Making, Andy Crouch points out that

A basic unit of culture is the family, where we first begin making something of the world… Culture that is everyone’s property is in no one’s grasp. But as we consider smaller scales of culture, we begin to have more meaningful influence over what culture makes of the world. As parents of two children, Timothy and Amy, my wife Catherine and I truly have the ability to make some things possible and others impossible for them and for ourselves- even though our culture making takes place within larger horizons over which we have less control.

Culture Making p.46

Wow. This is probably the hardest area for me. I can teach the Bible all day long, but if I’m impatient and resentful with those I claim to love, I am essentially invalidating everything I’ve just taught. Similarly, if I am articulating our confidence in God while living with a constant eye toward events completely beyond my control, what are my kids really learning? The enemy capitalizes on fear. And so this past month when we got some sobering news and all I wanted was to come back into my room and journal, I defiantly pulled out my baking tools and made a fresh peach pie. In our homes, we must choose to celebrate God’s gifts today, rather than being pulled into despair or worry about tomorrow. Just like counterfeit-money-spotters are trained by studying the real thing, I want to so immerse my kids in God’s beautiful, good, and abundant life, that when they encounter counterfeits they’ll be able to recognize that something feels off.

Whew. And that’s all. No biggie, right? The task can feel insurmountable, but do not give in to the overwhelm and let the enemy gain the victory!!! Pray about how to move forward. When feeling stuck I remind myself of women who have gone before me and encouraged, “Do the next thing.” Just like we want our kids to know themselves surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, we parents must remember the same. We are not the first to raise kids in troubled times. And we were born for this. So let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12:2-3). He’s got this!

Mommy, why didn’t God answer our prayers?

April 20, 2021 /

We all know the right answers. God doesn’t give us what we want because God knows what’s best for us. God can answer our prayers with yes, no, or wait. God answers our prayers in ways that we don’t understand.

But this time, I responded differently. For several weeks my kids had seen me praying for someone who ultimately died. And although all of those responses are true, they place the burden of responsibility on God for not stepping in like we had asked, instead of on the enemy where it rightly belongs. Death is the work of the thief who steals, kills, and destroys. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full. So nothing about death was God’s will, except that Jesus submit to its horrors in order to swallow it up forever. God is sovereign over death but not responsible for it.

So this time I reminded them of the Story. I had them tell me how God created a perfect world, where there was no such thing as death, sickness, or pain. And God created us to enjoy this world under God’s leadership. But we wanted to be in charge of our own lives, so God’s perfect creation was broken by sin. But Jesus redeemed us through His death on the cross, and He will someday return to make all things new.

And then as I do with so many other hard topics, I put my grief and confusion in the context of this Story; because we are still waiting for Jesus’ return, our world is still subject to death. And Jesus’ promise wasn’t that we could escape this brokenness, but that because of His victory on the cross we’d never have to endure it alone. And it won’t be like this forever.

Yet we pray for healing because sometimes God breaks in to perform miracles that remind us of who He is and His promise to someday heal and bring life to the whole world! So we hope that this will be one of those times when God breaks in to do something unusual, something miraculous.

And then we probably moved on to noticing the birds out the window. Or talking about the Octonauts’ Captain Barnacle. Or laughing about a funny sound one of us made. How I love our days!

But now between us grownups, I’m going to be really honest. I’ve tracked quite a few miles with the Lord, and my faith has suffered some hard blows because I’ve felt led to pray that people would be healed who have gone on to die. And so I’ve had seasons of really doubting my relationship with God. Maybe God would have healed them if I’d had more faith (like people in Africa). Maybe God would have stepped in if I had exercised more authority (like other denominations). Maybe things would be different if I had fasted more (like the really devoted Christians).

Maybe. But frankly, those theologies haven’t born good fruit in my life. They’ve weighed me down with accusation, filled me with doubt, and created distance between me and my heavenly Father. And that realization has caused me to take a closer look, primarily at biblical teaching but also at my own experiences and the testimonies of others.

So why bring it up on a parenting blog? Well, these experiences impact how I teach my kids to pray for the sick. And while I know that there’s a lot I don’t understand and even more that I could do better, I also know that I’ve been gifted with life experience and a seminary education. So I offer some of my conclusions about the miraculous, here, especially for those of you who might also be asking “Why?”


Miracles are signs that point to who God is and what God is doing (and promises to one day do) in the world. In the second volume of his systematic theology, James McClendon wrote “In Scripture the idea of miracle… or as in John’s Gospel and elsewhere, “sign” (semeion)—does not suppose the irruption of God into a nature from which God is usually absent, but does reckon that God may act within nature (where he is already present) vividly to display the divine intention for nature… Miracles, in short, are signs, divine actions within creation in which the presence of God shines forth in power for (creative, and especially) redemptive ends” (Doctrine 185-186). I was introduced to this idea in seminary, and while it obviously had an impact on me even back then, it has made even more sense as I’ve lived with it over time. For example, the human body is designed for optimum function/ health. All of our systems work together in a synergistic relationship to promote life. But in our broken and fallen world, the body cannot always support life (or heal itself) in the way that it was designed. And so we live with malignant tumors and death. So when my friend’s dad’s stage 4 cancer was miraculously cured without any treatment, this wasn’t God working outside of the natural process, but God powerfully working such that his body was able to act in accordance with God’s divine intention for his body, and also in a prophetic foreshadowing of the ultimate resurrection and healing that will someday come to all who have died in Christ.

Miracles are not normative, but there have also been many times in history of heightened miraculous activity, one of which is prophesied still to come, before the return of Christ. I personally know several people who have seen God answer their prayers for physical healing in miraculous ways, though I do not know that any of my prayers have been answered in this way. Nevertheless, I continue to pray that I will be a part of it! But I also resist the temptation to feel rejected while waiting to see God’s glory in that particular way.

Miracles are God’s grace (and not our right)! I don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others, but I believe our response to healing should always be that of simple gratitude (as opposed to entitlement). God promises to heal when Jesus returns to make all things new. Samuel Whitefield claims that at the cross, Jesus secured the promises that will be fulfilled at his return. It was as if the cross was the betrothal where Jesus paid for and became legally bound to His bride. But just like that bride-to-be, we are still waiting for the fulfillment of some of those promises, one of which is the restoration of our bodies.

God wants us to ask for miracles. The gospels are full of people who pleased Jesus by their faith and asking! Over and over again we are commanded to pray and bring our desires before the throne of grace. Furthermore, the parable of the widow and the unjust judge very specifically teaches us to keep bringing the same requests to God because God is good and wants to respond to our cries for help. Even so, we’re still living in a broken and fallen world. So God’s promise is to be with us in the pain, not remove it from our midst.

And finally, God’s heartbreaking “no” brings us face to face with the devastation of this world’s darkness, that we might bear greater witness to the Light that cannot be overcome. This final conclusion has come into clearer focus for me with this most recent loss. The man whose death prompted my kids’ questions went to be with the Lord on Holy Thursday, while I was preparing our annual Seder dinner. This is an adaption of the symbolic Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples on the night he was betrayed. In it we remember the gift of Jesus’ body and blood that redeemed us from sin and death. So as my heart ached for my friend’s loss, I was reawakened to the depth of our need for the Savior. As articulated by Rachael Denhollander, “We can tend to gloss over the devastation of… suffering… with Christian platitudes like ‘God works all things together for good,’ or ‘God is sovereign.’ Those are very good and glorious biblical truths, but when they are misapplied in a way to dampen the horror of evil they ultimately dampen the goodness of God. Goodness and darkness exist as opposites. If we pretend that the darkness isn’t dark, it dampens the beauty of the light.”

So let us not shy away from the hard parts of the Story. Let us pray boldly for miracles. Let us grieve deeply the brokenness of our fallen world. Let us stand firm in our identity as God’s beloved. And let us celebrate the coming bridegroom King who will defeat death forever!

Mommy, why are people with brown skin dying and why are people with peach skin making it happen?

June 22, 2020 /

Lying in bed, my three year old managed to break my heart while rendering me speechless. Our family had just participated in an antiracism prayer rally, and obviously she and her six year old brother had been paying closer attention than I’d realized. I confessed that I didn’t know how to answer her well, but that I would absolutely think it through so we could talk more in the morning.

And talk we did. I’m sure I messed up a lot of things in this conversation. But God has charged me with discipling my children as we walk along life’s way, and racism is a significant feature on our path. So while part of me still worries that it was premature, the next day at breakfast I pulled down the globe and we talked. About history. About assumptions. About being wrong. About melanin and the equator. About the game of Monopoly and how it’s hard to do well when the other person owns most of the properties. Most of these topics had come up before, but in this conversation we pulled them all together. And we talked a lot about God.

I explained racism from within the context of God’s big story; God created a perfect world that is currently experiencing brokenness because of our fall into sin, but Jesus redeemed us through his death and will ultimately restore fallen creation when he returns to make all things new. We talked about how so many people, including Christians, have been terribly wrong through the years, but also that there have always been some who have understood biblical teaching on ethnicity.

These have known that God created all people in God’s image, and that God loves the differences God made in us. They have understood that in God’s kingdom people use their power and strength to serve and care for one another, whereas in our broken world people often use their power and strength to get what they want. These have loved their neighbors as themselves by speaking up for the poor, freeing slaves, and trying to change the laws that have helped white people more than black people. And now it’s time for us to join them in that fight.

The conversation has obviously continued beyond that initial breakfast. At one point they walked in on me watching Just Mercy (which I highly recommend!) and asked why Walter McMillian was being hurt by his jailers. I explained that just like Jesus, Steven, Peter, Paul, and Silas were falsely accused (usually being charged with disrupting the peace or teaching against/ dishonoring God in some way), so also this man was falsely accused. When they asked about Bryan Stevenson’s character I responded that he was a lawyer who was following Jesus by fighting for the wrongly accused man.

But the painful truth is that many of us haven’t consistently followed Jesus in this way. There have always been pockets fighting for the least of these. But as a whole, white Christians have been naive at best, and complicit at worst regarding racial injustice in this country. And now we have come to the place where we can only claim ignorance by choosing to dismiss the cries that surround us.

I am so thankful for those who are offering their stories to help me imagine what it’s like to walk in their shoes. I’m also thankful for resources that help me recognize my own assumptions and think critically about how they are unintentionally shaping my kids. This is such good and necessary work!

But I’ve also noticed a hole. Despite all that I’ve read online about raising inclusive and antiracist kids, I have encountered precious little showing parents how the Bible can be used either to promote racial bias or to dismantle it.

Historically, those in positions of authority have all too often used the Bible to bolster their power. This is our story… But it’s also not. Jesus isn’t white. He wasn’t wealthy. His kingdom was not of this world. His goal wasn’t to make me feel good about myself, affirm my preferences, or justify my sin. He didn’t die so that I could stop growing or take the easy way out. Instead, he challenged the unrighteousness of those holding power and was killed for it.

The New Testament Greek word for “righteousness” (dikaios) can also be translated into English as “justice.” It’s the same Greek word, translated differently based on the context. In general, we think of righteousness as a right relationship with God and justice as right relationships with others. But the Greek word for the two is the same. Right relationships are central to the biblical story.

From the very beginning, we see whispers of this when God heard Abel’s blood crying out from the ground. Years later, Abraham was promised that he would be blessed so that he could be a blessing to the nations. Roughly 400 years after that God told Moses that God had once again heard the cries of God’s people and would deliver Abraham’s children from their oppressive slavery under Pharaoh. From this point on, God’s heart for justice became more explicit. Throughout the law, the newly freed Israelites were instructed to care for the poor and foreigners, remembering that they, themselves, were also slaves in Egypt. When Israel went into exile it was for the dual sins of idolatry and taking advantage of the poor.

And then a few hundred years later, in the final week of his life, their Messiah stormed into the temple, creating chaos as he angrily overturned the money changers’ tables and released their animals because they were taking advantage of the poor in the very place that was built as a house of prayer for the nations. Righteousness and justice are central.

So how do we teach this aspect of the biblical story? Books are probably being written about it as I type, but thus far I’ve found only one Sunday School curriculum that focuses on it (which is NOT to say that there aren’t more; please share more resources in the comments!). So in the meantime I have two suggestions as to where us parents can start. First, we can learn. We can learn about both biblical justice and about the current cultural situations in which we find ourselves. As the primary teachers of our children, we will naturally teach the Bible differently to them when we understand it differently for ourselves (here’s an example of how we used Mary and Joseph’s flight to Egypt to talk about immigration). There are many great reading lists and resources online, the following being a few to get you started.

And then our second major task is to be intentional about our children’s books and Bibles. I’ve seen several helpful lists of picture books that celebrate diversity or help us talk about racism (many of which we have loved), but Christian parents have the additional opportunity and responsibility to be discerning in our choices of Bibles and Bible storybooks. We’ve been grafted into a community that worships a Middle Eastern Savior along with brothers and sisters from every tribe, language, people, and nation! But this can be easily lost on our kids if we fail to choose Bible storybooks whose illustrations reflect this truth. I’ve written more about this in a previous post (How to choose a Bible or Bible storybook), but these are some of our favorites (and one that’s on our wishlist).

* There are many picture books about Ruby Bridges, but I appreciate how this one includes her faith. The Lion First Bible has primarily white characters, but is helpful in emphasizing the power dynamics in much of the New Testament.

In a similar vein, another really simple shift could be to choose mostly brown tones when coloring the skin of Bible characters. This past year during Advent, I noticed the 5 year olds in my Sunday School class all using the peach marker for Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. Recognizing the opportunity but not wanting any to feel corrected, I just sat down with them and began coloring my own picture differently. Sure enough, the kids noticed. One little girl even told me that I was coloring them wrong! We ended up having a good conversation about how Jesus was from a part of the world where most people have black hair and darker skin. It didn’t last long, but felt like a good start.

These aspects of our story simply must be shared. They must be shared out of love for our neighbors, and also for the hope that we profess. We will continue to make lots of mistakes. But that’s part of our story, too. We are fallen, but also forgiven, forgiving, and empowered. So let’s embrace our calling as we courageously learn together while confronting the darkness of our own lives and broken world with Jesus’ light and hope!

Family Seder 2020

April 6, 2020 /

Imagine thousands of families, each huddled together in homes, collectively praying, hoping, and waiting for death to pass them by. Who could have believed that the children of Israel’s first Passover would be so easy for us to imagine, today? Though we are not Jewish, my husband and I have commemorated this event in Israel’s history for several years (see our rationale here). Typically we invite friends to join us in our celebration, but this year will obviously look quite different. Nevertheless, I’m so thankful to be able to gather my own for an evening of remembrance, thereby anchoring our own lives in the unchanging truth of the Bigger Story.

I’m sure this script will see several edits in the coming days, but I offer it now as we’re all thinking through how to approach Easter at home. So to begin, here’s what you’ll need to have for the symbolic foods-

  • Red wine or grape juice
  • Unleavened bread (flour, oil, salt)
  • Bitter herbs (We’ll use dandelion, dock, and dead nettle, all common weeds in our yard.)
  • Fresh vegetable (We’ll use kale from our garden, but celery, potatoes, and parsley are commonly used.)
  • Charoset (apples, walnuts, honey or brown sugar, sweet wine or grape juice)

Family Seder 2020

After lighting candles, I’ll begin by explaining, Tonight we remember God rescuing his people from death. Our Seder is based on the Jewish Passover meal that Jesus ate with his disciples on the night he was betrayed. Every year during Passover, families would gather in their homes—just like we’re doing now—to eat special foods that reminded them of the very first Passover, when God brought his people out of slavery in Egypt. So now these same foods help us remember that Jesus saves us, as well. Daddy is going to begin by praying for us, and then you’ll take turns asking your questions as we eat these special foods.

How is this night different than every other night? On other nights we eat salads and vegetables, but why on this night are we just eating bitter herbs?

Tonight we eat dandelion greens and dock to remind us of the bitterness of the Israelite’s slavery in Egypt, as well as the bitterness of our own bondage to sin… Like the very first Passover, we are gathered in our home, experiencing the bitterness of living in a broken world ravaged by sickness, violence, and death. So now we’ll eat these greens quietly as we think about the bitterness of sin (eat the bitter herbs in silence).

On other nights we don’t get to dip our foods even once, but why on this night do we dip twice?

The first time we dip, we are dipping our kale in saltwater to remind us of the Israelites’ salty tears while living in Egypt. But we also think about our own tears, living in frail bodies still impacted by the fall. Romans 8 says that we groan right along with all of creation as we eagerly await the full redemption of our bodies, when Jesus will come back to restore the world and make all things new.

And this is why we dip, the second time. Instead of dipping in salt water to represent our tears, we’ll dip our unleavened bread in sweet charoset. When Jesus returns he will wipe every tear from his people’s eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, but only the joy of being with Jesus forever!

On other nights we drink only water, but why on this night are we drinking wine and sparkling grape juice?

In the Bible, wine represents blood. So during Passover, we remember that God’s salvation comes through death. Back in Egypt, God kept his people safe by telling them to sacrifice a lamb. Now our lives are eternally safe through the blood of Jesus. Yet mysteriously, unless Jesus comes back first, it is only through our own deaths that we will enter into the joy of being alive with him forever.

But wine also symbolizes celebration. During their Passover dinner, when Jesus gave wine to his disciples, he promised them that even though he was preparing to die, someday he would drink wine, again, at the marriage supper of the lamb! So as we drink our wine and grape juice, let’s remember both Jesus’ sacrifice and his promise (drink wine and/ or juice).

On other nights we eat sourdough bread, but why on this night are we eating unleavened bread?

Normally we let our bread rise all day before we bake it into a nice, puffy loaf. But tonight we eat unleavened—or unrisen—bread to remember how the Israelites waited and waited for God’s rescue, but then when it was finally the time for their deliverance, they left Egypt fast, not even waiting for their bread to rise!

For followers of Jesus, the bread also reminds us of Jesus, the bread of life. During the last supper he took the bread, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying “This is my body, given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

So let us eat while remembering how quickly God delivered his people from Egypt, and also how Jesus’ life was freely given so that we might live (eat matzo).

And now, we get to eat all of these things together (begin preparing a piece of matzo, topped with bitter herbs and charoset)! Like matzo, bitter herbs, and sweet apple charoset, our lives aren’t usually just bitter or just sweet, but a mixture of many different circumstances and emotions, often experienced all together. But whatever comes, by faith we can trust in Jesus’ promise to be with us always, along with Paul’s conviction that nothing could separate us from his love.

When everyone is ready for the main course, we’ll then recite the Lord’s prayer and then eat a family-style dinner, together.

May God bless you as you seek God with your loved ones, this holiest and most devastating of weeks!

When will I die, Mom?

January 10, 2020 /

Today the question came during lunch, right in the middle of our Bible story. But it wasn’t the first time that my three year old has asked. Just yesterday we were working together in the kitchen when she started to sing, “This is my home. When I die I’ll be with Jesus and there will be rainbows all the time!” Last week she prayed that we would die together. I think her interest began about three weeks ago with the unexpected death of our young goat. So I understand where it is probably coming from, but it’s still a little unnerving.

This isn’t new territory for us. In a previous post, I described our approach to a similar season of curiosity when my son was three, prompted by the loss of a baby chicken immediately followed by that of my grandfather.

But this time around has felt a lot heavier. Our standard response has been that most people die when they’re very old. But then last week, in the midst of my daughter’s questions, a four year old boy from my Bible study class drowned in a tragic accident. Both as a teacher and a mom, how can I help but rehearse his panic in those final moments? And then, of course, there’s the chaos of the world, at large…

Yet here we are in our Bible study reading the book of Hebrews, studying God’s rest and anchoring hope.

So what is our hope in such a terrifying world where children drown and experience all kinds of other unspeakable horrors? I know that our hope is heaven and it will be more wonderful than anything we can imagine. But what about the journey to get there? That’s what keeps me up at night. What difference does my faith make for that? What hope can I offer my little disciples when I am personally living in such fear, compulsively imagining both the suffering of others and terrifying possibilities of our own futures? I know I’m not telling God’s story when captivated by fear, so I had to ask, “God, what is our hope?”

And then God reminded me. Two months ago I was assigned to teach those four year olds about the stoning of Stephen, Christianity’s first martyr, whose face shone with God’s glory in death. As I described in a previous post, I was practicing the lesson around our breakfast table when my three year old asked if God sent an angel to shut the angry men’s mouths (as God had with the lions in Daniel’s den). “No, this time God did not send an angel to rescue him… This time, God’s Holy Spirit filled his heart with peace and opened his eyes to see Jesus!” I immediately fell in love with this story’s power to shape our kids’ imaginations and expectations for God’s presence in death.

And yet here I was, imagining a child’s death without such comfort. But my heart was now open to new possibilities. Could the child who drowned have seen Jesus and been filled with God’s peace as had Stephen? Oh God, could it ever be? Could we ever rest in this assurance? Are there any other examples in Scripture of You accompanying people in death?

And then God reminded me of the fourth man walking around in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And Peter’s peaceful sleep in prison while awaiting his execution. And John’s vision of Jesus on the island of Patmos. Though these three stories all happen to end in God’s miraculous deliverance, the men were nevertheless preparing for their imminent deaths when they experienced God’s supernatural presence. And then I was reminded of historical testimonies of martyrs whose tongues were cut out to stop their songs of praise during torture and burning* along with my own friends and loved ones who began hearing from God and seeing Jesus in the days leading up to their deaths.

And then I remembered my own earlier claim to those faith-filled four year olds: Jesus promised to be with his followers always, even to the ends of the earth. And the Holy Spirit helps us believe him.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
 If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139:7-12 (italics added)

God is with us; we don’t have to fear those final moments before Jesus brings our children home! Our fall into sin separated us from God, but this was the weight that Jesus willingly bore on the cross. He testified to this experience of desolation by crying out in his last moments, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” But at his death, that curtain of separation was torn from top to bottom and we were given direct access to our holy God. At Jesus’ resurrection, death was defeated and the grave lost its power. After his ascension, the Holy Spirit returned to indwell our hearts.

The gospel of John declares that all who believe in Jesus [with the faith of a child] become children of God. So given my desire to comfort my own children, it is inconceivable to me that their heavenly Father would leave them to experience the moments of their greatest anguish all by themselves. Yes, they will experience pain and loss and fear. But they will absolutely not do it alone. Only Jesus had to endure that. When I can’t hold them, they will rest in the arms of the One who is more knowing, present, powerful, and loving than I could ever be.

This is my hope. This is our story. We need not fear or grieve as those who have no hope, not only because our physical deaths do not end our lives, but also because neither we nor our children will suffer alone. Jesus will be with us always, even to the ends of the earth.


* For those who believe these to be mere psychological realities, I have recently marveled at the extreme kindness (and brilliance!) of a Creator who would wire into our bodies the ability to disassociate our psyches from such terrible experiences. So whereas some might interpret this as meaning God wasn’t present in these circumstances, I see it as only further evidence of God’s great care.

Why didn’t God save Stephen?

October 17, 2019 /

I think our kids need to hear about the martyrdom of Stephen. Mine are too young for all of the details, but even at 3 and 5 they can begin to see different ways in which Jesus’ promise to be with his disciples always holds true, even when the rescue doesn’t come. As an aside, I don’t know that I would have chosen to talk much about death, yet, if our grandparents’ deaths hadn’t already forced it. Nevertheless, at some point all of our kids need to hear about God’s faithful presence in death because they’ve already heard so many other biblical stories of God’s heroic rescue from death.

Let me explain. In a cursory reading, the Bible may not be immediately reflective of our experiences as followers of Christ. Woah. Wait. What?! By no means am I challenging Scripture’s truthfulness or relevancy. But by its very nature the Bible tells the noteworthy stories in Israel’s history. It compresses entire lifetimes into a few pages of highlights, years of waiting and struggle into a single sentence. But that sentence is often where we live.

Therefore, by faithfully reading these Bible stories to our children, I think we can unintentionally set them up for disappointment by constructing a world in which God always acts in these miraculous ways when we faith-fully pray for them.

And let’s be honest; this disappointment can devastate our faith.

But God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, God’s ways higher than ours. And we still live in a deeply fallen world. So stories like Stephen’s (told in Acts 6-7) can give our children a template for believing God’s promises and expecting God’s presence even through suffering.

And that template can save their faith.

As I was telling my own kids this story, my three year old asked if God sent an angel to shut the angry men’s mouths (as God had with the lions in Daniel’s den, which we’d read earlier that morning). “No, this time God did not send an angel to rescue him… This time, God’s Holy Spirit filled his heart and opened his eyes to see Jesus!” Though I hadn’t before considered the value in doing so, in that moment I felt so thankful for the chance to begin shaping my kids’ imaginations to expect God’s presence in death.

Our kids are going to suffer. People for whom they pray will probably die. They may even be persecuted. So let us resist the tendency to tell stories only of God’s miraculous intervention. Let us also tell these harder stories now, that our kids’ faith might be better prepared to stand through the storms that will inevitably come.

And now for full disclosure... I didn't have the brilliant idea of introducing my preschoolers to Christianity's first martyr on my own. We're going through the book of Acts in Bible Study Fellowship, and it just so happened that I was assigned to teach this lesson to a group of 3-4 year olds. It felt quite daunting, but I obviously came to love the story. Here's my script for that lesson, if anyone wants a better idea of how I taught it, hopefully in an age-appropriate way!

The life-changing magic of Showing Up

August 14, 2019 /

God does good things when I show up. This morning I was the last of my family to roll out of bed. That’s never a good start. So after getting my husband off to work and our initial chores done, my kids settled into playing while I took a cappuccino back to my room for morning prayer. It wasn’t magical. And I kind of dreaded coming out. I didn’t even have a good plan for the day. But my prayer time focused on leadership and my primary context is within my own family. So out I went.

When we finally sat down to eat, there was a part of me that was tempted to skip the various elements of our breakfast routine, which often include a hymn, some Scripture memory, and a Bible story. Sometimes I just get tired of being the one to initiate it all. But I didn’t skip it. I’m the leader. So I opened the hymnal.

I hadn’t even been sure about this month’s hymn, Holy God, We Praise Thy Name. The text is very theological and my kids have only recently turned 3 and 5. But it’s actually been pretty wonderful, providing me space to worship our Holy God, while stirring up questions that my kids otherwise wouldn’t have thought to ask. For example, yesterday one of them asked about “cherubim and seraphim,” which took us to Isaiah 6’s description of God’s throne. It was pretty awesome.

So today Adam wondered, “Mom, how can God know what we are doing and thinking all the time?” And only then did God set fire to my tired heart and bring clarity to my chaotic mind. After a fun vocabulary lesson on omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, and omnibenevolence, one thing led to the next and we were talking about Christ’s lordship in human hearts. Based on things we’d already discussed in the hymn (“All on earth Thy scepter claim, All in heaven above adore Thee: Infinite Thy vast domain, Everlasting is Thy reign”) I explained that there is only one realm in the whole world where God’s Spirit does not ultimately reign unless invited. When I asked them where they thought that might be, my oldest actually guessed that I was talking about our hearts! Even my little kids seemed to understand that love, by definition, must be freely offered, and for that reason God created us with the ability to reject God’s love and authority.

That led into the next element. We’re very slowly going through Clay Clarkson’s Our 24 Family Ways, and this week we’re learning Way #6: We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first, with the associated verse, “Even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). And so I transitioned, “even though God was all-powerful, Jesus chose to be born as a tiny baby. And did he choose to come so that everyone who lived on earth at that time would praise and serve him?” to which Adam very thoughtfully responded, “No, he came to die.” And then we talked about the curse of sin, the brokenness of this world, and the definition of ransom. It was so rich.

And then my kids started fighting because one of them took the last of the blueberries.

It was all unexpected, truly a morning of just showing up. So often when I choose to offer my fish and loaves, Jesus takes them into his hands, multiplies them, and then gives the abundance back to me so that I may experience the joy of being his hands and feet, extending his truth and love to my children.

I don’t share this because it is extraordinary, but rather because writing helps me give appropriate weight to the things that matter. Occasionally I am asked why I have not posted more regularly. One of the main reasons is that our days feel so very sacred and yet completely ordinary all at the same time. But today I’m writing it down, lest I forget these conversations that are being woven together to create the tapestry of our lives.

Thanks be to God!

Making Room Week 7: Holy Week

April 14, 2019 /

We have now come to the week of all weeks. In this video we reflect on the vast difference between Jesus’ path to glory and the one leading to success in our own world. Since recording it I’ve been noticing this pattern everywhere in God’s design! Seeds sprout only after being buried in the ground. Tiny plants emerge only after their seeds have been burst open. Babies enter into the light of day only after being pushed through the birth canal. Spring follows winter. And Jesus’ resurrection came only after his death.

I hope you can set aside some extra time, each day, to reflect on Jesus’ journey to the cross. Instead of sharing stories chosen specifically for my children, this week, I’ve laid out what I plan to read on my own. My goal is to prayerfully read these passages, each morning, and then out of that time I’ll share them with my kids in varying amounts of detail.

So without further ado, here is our final video in this Lenten series. It’s been such a joy to work with our pastoral team at Summit church in inviting you to journey with us through this season. May our hearts be emptied and filled, this holy week, as we remember Jesus’ greatest demonstration of love.

https://vimeo.com/330231147

Songs

Memorization

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).

Bible Stories*

  • Sunday- Jesus’ Triumphal Entry (Matthew 21:1-17)
  • Monday- Leaders challenge Jesus’ authority (Matthew 21:18-23:39)
  • Tuesday- Jesus teaches about his return (Matthew 24:1-44)
  • Wednesday- Jesus encourages faithfulness during his absence (Matthew 24:4-25:46)
  • Thursday- Jesus’ Last Supper (Matthew 26, John 13-17)
  • Friday- Jesus’ Trial and Crucifixion (Matthew 27, Isaiah 53:5-6)
  • Saturday- Jesus’ disciples grieve (Psalm 130, John 16:20-22)
  • Sunday- Jesus is Alive! (Luke 24:1-12; Matthew 28:1-10, John 20:1-18)

Activities

  • Share a special meal on Thursday, whether it be a traditional Maundy Thursday dinner where you emphasize serving one another, or a Seder that focuses on Jesus’ fulfillment of Passover.
  • Draw all of the curtains in your home and keep the lights off between Thursday evening and Sunday morning.
  • Attend a Good Friday service.
  • Prepare a breakfast picnic for Sunday morning, during which you will read the Easter story from one of the gospels.

*More detail on how I plan to use these passages with my young children can be found here.

Making Room Week 6: Kingdom Ambassadors

April 7, 2019 /

During this sixth week of Lent, we get to look forward to the restoration of God’s glorious reign, the Great Banquet in the Old Testament or the Marriage Supper of the Lamb in the New. We’ll spend time both reflecting on the Bible’s descriptions of this great event, and then considering our role as kingdom ambassadors who get to extend Jesus’ invitation to the world. If you are just joining us, welcome! You can read more about this project here, and my church that is producing these videos and resources here.

https://vimeo.com/328888997

Songs

Memorization

Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).

Bible Stories*

  • Jesus’ parable of the great banquet (Luke 14:15-24, cf. Matthew 22:1-14)
  • Jesus’ great commission (Matthew 28:16-20, cf. Matthew 24:14)
  • Jesus sends the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:3-14, 2:1-47)
  • The New Heaven and New Earth (Revelation 21:1-8)
  • The River of Life (Revelation 22:1-5

Activities

  • Paint the scene in Revelation 22:1-5.
  • Talk about how your home is and can be an outpost of God’s kingdom, and then invite someone into it!
  • Make a plan to restructure your life such that you can prioritize making disciples or living into your role as Christ’s ambassador.
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