shaping children's faith through story

Tag: prayer

Mommy, why didn’t God answer our prayers?

We all know the right answers. God doesn’t give us what we want because God knows what’s best for us. God can answer our prayers with yes, no, or wait. God answers our prayers in ways that we don’t understand.

But this time, I responded differently. For several weeks my kids had seen me praying for someone who ultimately died. And although all of those responses are true, they place the burden of responsibility on God for not stepping in like we had asked, instead of on the enemy where it rightly belongs. Death is the work of the thief who steals, kills, and destroys. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full. So nothing about death was God’s will, except that Jesus submit to its horrors in order to swallow it up forever. God is sovereign over death but not responsible for it.

So this time I reminded them of the Story. I had them tell me how God created a perfect world, where there was no such thing as death, sickness, or pain. And God created us to enjoy this world under God’s leadership. But we wanted to be in charge of our own lives, so God’s perfect creation was broken by sin. But Jesus redeemed us through His death on the cross, and He will someday return to make all things new.

And then as I do with so many other hard topics, I put my grief and confusion in the context of this Story; because we are still waiting for Jesus’ return, our world is still subject to death. And Jesus’ promise wasn’t that we could escape this brokenness, but that because of His victory on the cross we’d never have to endure it alone. And it won’t be like this forever.

Yet we pray for healing because sometimes God breaks in to perform miracles that remind us of who He is and His promise to someday heal and bring life to the whole world! So we hope that this will be one of those times when God breaks in to do something unusual, something miraculous.

And then we probably moved on to noticing the birds out the window. Or talking about the Octonauts’ Captain Barnacle. Or laughing about a funny sound one of us made. How I love our days!

But now between us grownups, I’m going to be really honest. I’ve tracked quite a few miles with the Lord, and my faith has suffered some hard blows because I’ve felt led to pray that people would be healed who have gone on to die. And so I’ve had seasons of really doubting my relationship with God. Maybe God would have healed them if I’d had more faith (like people in Africa). Maybe God would have stepped in if I had exercised more authority (like other denominations). Maybe things would be different if I had fasted more (like the really devoted Christians).

Maybe. But frankly, those theologies haven’t born good fruit in my life. They’ve weighed me down with accusation, filled me with doubt, and created distance between me and my heavenly Father. And that realization has caused me to take a closer look, primarily at biblical teaching but also at my own experiences and the testimonies of others.

So why bring it up on a parenting blog? Well, these experiences impact how I teach my kids to pray for the sick. And while I know that there’s a lot I don’t understand and even more that I could do better, I also know that I’ve been gifted with life experience and a seminary education. So I offer some of my conclusions about the miraculous, here, especially for those of you who might also be asking “Why?”


Miracles are signs that point to who God is and what God is doing (and promises to one day do) in the world. In the second volume of his systematic theology, James McClendon wrote “In Scripture the idea of miracle… or as in John’s Gospel and elsewhere, “sign” (semeion)—does not suppose the irruption of God into a nature from which God is usually absent, but does reckon that God may act within nature (where he is already present) vividly to display the divine intention for nature… Miracles, in short, are signs, divine actions within creation in which the presence of God shines forth in power for (creative, and especially) redemptive ends” (Doctrine 185-186). I was introduced to this idea in seminary, and while it obviously had an impact on me even back then, it has made even more sense as I’ve lived with it over time. For example, the human body is designed for optimum function/ health. All of our systems work together in a synergistic relationship to promote life. But in our broken and fallen world, the body cannot always support life (or heal itself) in the way that it was designed. And so we live with malignant tumors and death. So when my friend’s dad’s stage 4 cancer was miraculously cured without any treatment, this wasn’t God working outside of the natural process, but God powerfully working such that his body was able to act in accordance with God’s divine intention for his body, and also in a prophetic foreshadowing of the ultimate resurrection and healing that will someday come to all who have died in Christ.

Miracles are not normative, but there have also been many times in history of heightened miraculous activity, one of which is prophesied still to come, before the return of Christ. I personally know several people who have seen God answer their prayers for physical healing in miraculous ways, though I do not know that any of my prayers have been answered in this way. Nevertheless, I continue to pray that I will be a part of it! But I also resist the temptation to feel rejected while waiting to see God’s glory in that particular way.

Miracles are God’s grace (and not our right)! I don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others, but I believe our response to healing should always be that of simple gratitude (as opposed to entitlement). God promises to heal when Jesus returns to make all things new. Samuel Whitefield claims that at the cross, Jesus secured the promises that will be fulfilled at his return. It was as if the cross was the betrothal where Jesus paid for and became legally bound to His bride. But just like that bride-to-be, we are still waiting for the fulfillment of some of those promises, one of which is the restoration of our bodies.

God wants us to ask for miracles. The gospels are full of people who pleased Jesus by their faith and asking! Over and over again we are commanded to pray and bring our desires before the throne of grace. Furthermore, the parable of the widow and the unjust judge very specifically teaches us to keep bringing the same requests to God because God is good and wants to respond to our cries for help. Even so, we’re still living in a broken and fallen world. So God’s promise is to be with us in the pain, not remove it from our midst.

And finally, God’s heartbreaking “no” brings us face to face with the devastation of this world’s darkness, that we might bear greater witness to the Light that cannot be overcome. This final conclusion has come into clearer focus for me with this most recent loss. The man whose death prompted my kids’ questions went to be with the Lord on Holy Thursday, while I was preparing our annual Seder dinner. This is an adaption of the symbolic Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples on the night he was betrayed. In it we remember the gift of Jesus’ body and blood that redeemed us from sin and death. So as my heart ached for my friend’s loss, I was reawakened to the depth of our need for the Savior. As articulated by Rachael Denhollander, “We can tend to gloss over the devastation of… suffering… with Christian platitudes like ‘God works all things together for good,’ or ‘God is sovereign.’ Those are very good and glorious biblical truths, but when they are misapplied in a way to dampen the horror of evil they ultimately dampen the goodness of God. Goodness and darkness exist as opposites. If we pretend that the darkness isn’t dark, it dampens the beauty of the light.”

So let us not shy away from the hard parts of the Story. Let us pray boldly for miracles. Let us grieve deeply the brokenness of our fallen world. Let us stand firm in our identity as God’s beloved. And let us celebrate the coming bridegroom King who will defeat death forever!

Making Room Week 4: Personal Confession

Breathe. Last week was heavy for me. I know that I ended the video by calling us to worship, but the confession that precedes it is tough. How about you? How are you feeling, heading into this fourth week of Lent? Whereas we’ve been focusing on the Kingdom of God in our communities and world, this week we’ll be reflecting on our need for Jesus’ resurrection in each of our personal lives. For any who are just joining us, I’ve been working with an amazing team from my church on weekly videos to guide our congregation through Lent. Since I’m also leading my own young children (2 and 4) through the season, I’ve included additional resources below that we’re planning (or hoping!) to use on a more daily basis. Thanks for journeying with us!

Songs

Memorization

If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)

Bible Stories*

  • Jesus’ gift of the Holy Spirit (John 14:15-27; 16:8)
  • Jesus is anointed/ Doctors heal the sick (Luke 7:36-40, 1 John 1:6-9)
  • Jesus chooses imperfect people [The calling of Matthew (Luke 5:27-32), restoration of Peter (John 21:15-19), and conversion of Paul (Acts 9:1-22)]
  • The Greatest 2 Commandments (Matthew 22:34-40)
  • Jesus is the Vine/ A New Commandment (John  15:1-12; 13:12-15, 34-35)

Activities

  • Practice / emphasize apologizing to and forgiving one another, this week. When you are impatient with your kids, tell them and ask for forgiveness!
  • Practice sharing Jesus’ love with others, this week. This could be a specific bigger project (like bringing in #10 cans to Summit) or just being aware of opportunities throughout your days.
  • Watch the 2007 movie about the transatlantic slave trade and author of our beloved hymn, Amazing Grace (Common Sense Media recommends this for those over 11 years old).
  • Pray with the physical “palms down, palms up” prayer posture described in Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. He describes, “Begin by placing your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns  you ay have. Inwardly you may pray, ‘Lord, I give you my anger toward John. I release my fear of my dentist appointment this morning…’ After several minutes of surrender, turn your palms up as a symbol of your desire to receive from the Lord. Perhaps you will pray silently: ‘Lord, I would like to receive your divine love for John, your peace about the dentist appointment, your patience, your joy…’” Posture is important! Try physically turning over your burdens of sin to the Lord and then physically open your hands to receive God’s forgiveness and love.

*More details about how our family plans to use these Bible stories can be found here.

We’re praying for you as you lead your little disciples to follow Jesus, this week!

Making Room Week 3: Kingdom of God

Lent is a season for self-examination and confession, an annual opportunity to “remember your baptism” by reflecting on Jesus’ call to follow him in love, death, and new life. This week we’ll look at his first public teaching in the gospel of Luke, through which he essentially declares himself to be the promised Messiah inaugurating God’s long awaited Kingdom. As you watch the video and then use the additional resources, I invite you to prayerfully consider different ways your family might live into and celebrate his kingdom vision for our world, today.

Songs

Memorization

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).

Bible Stories*

  • Healing miracles (Matthew 15:29-31, cf. Ezekiel 47:1-12 and Revelation 22:1-5)
  • John’s baptism (Luke 3:1-14)
  • Pearl of great price, Rich young ruler (Matthew 13:45-46; 19:16-30)
  • Cleansing the temple (Luke 19:45-48)
  • Love your enemies (Matthew 5:38-48, Luke 22:47-53, possibly 23:34)
  • Jesus frees captives (if age-appropriate, Matthew 8:28-34)

Activities

  • Make a few simple meals and donate the money saved to a food pantry or other ministry (one of our favorites is World Vision).
  • Encourage someone who’s sick
  • Declutter, giving clothes/ toys to Salvation Army
  • Reconcile with “an enemy.”
  • Read The Quiltmaker’s Gift, an amazing story about a greedy king who finds true joy by giving away his many treasures.

*More details about how our family plans to use these resources can be found here.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever (Ephesians 3:21-22)!

Making Room: journeying together through Lent

A few weeks ago I was asked to help make weekly videos that can guide our church community through Lent. They will be primarily for teenagers and adults, but since I am walking through the season with my 2 and 4 year olds, we will also include some elements specifically chosen for them.

But first I have a confession. We’ve never done this. Yes, that’s right. This will be our family’s very first time practicing Lent, together!

So while I’ve been excited to plan it for the four of us, I really didn’t anticipate writing about it, this year… until the pastors asked me to help with the videos! So here we are. Perhaps this can encourage you to jump in and try something new, as well, because we really are all in this together!

For a year or so, the kids and I have been playing around with several different ways of nurturing our hearts and minds over breakfast or lunch. They’ve generally included some combination of eating, playing with play dough or slime, coloring, reading and conversation about Bible stories, pretending their Bible stories, learning a hymn, and memory work. Since I really love the rhythm we’ve established, I’m using a similar format during Lent. Therefore, we’ve chosen a theme for each of the videos (to be used by broader congregation), and then found additional songs, Bible stories, verses to memorize, and a few activities or projects to be used throughout the week specifically for kids. More details about how we anticipate using each of these can be found here. Finally, we’ll be listening to a Spotify playlist as we go about our day with songs that help us reflect on the weekly theme.

During this first partial week (beginning on Ash Wednesday) we will focus on habits and prayer. Overall, we are considering this Lenten season as an opportunity to cultivate the soil of our hearts, motivated by Jesus’ parable of the sower in Matthew 13 (and my weedy garden last summer). So in the video, I give an overview and then encourage people to pray about one established habit that they can set aside for the next 7 weeks (pulling weeds), and one new habit to begin (amending soil). And now, without further ado, here’s our first video and additional resources, with a huge thanks to the Summit Church team for producing both it and the graphic at the top of this post!

Songs

Memorization: Matthew 6:9-13

Bible Stories

  • Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23)
  • The Lord’s Prayer (Luke 11: 1, Matthew 6:9-13)
  • Solitude in Prayer (Matthew 6:5-8; Luke 6:12-13)

Activities

  • Plant flower or vegetable seeds
  • Choose family (or individual) habits to add and set aside
  • Create a special prayer closet, corner, or tent
  • Simplify meals (soup and bread)

Picture Books

Parenting from the Source: sending our roots down deep

God created our babies to grow up and become autonomous individuals. They’re thinking more independently, coming up with their own new ideas (and experiments), and testing the limits of their growing power, both within themselves and especially in relation to others. I know I should be excited by this but it’s requiring so much of me… it’s been hard, lately. These last few days I’ve pulled out all of my parenting books and have been trying to figure out some new strategies for these new stages.

This morning I read Psalm 1:1-3, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.

When I read and reread the phrase “his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night,” I pictured a young tree whose driving passion is to send its roots deeper and deeper until they find water. It reminded me of my walk around our yard, last night, where my soul was filled by the bursting forth of life all around me. The blueberry and goumi bushes that my husband had planted a few years ago have finally set loads of immature berries. In addition to fruit, I  discovered a tiny nest in one of them with two newly hatched birds! The thing is, newly planted bushes and trees rarely produce fruit in their first and second years of growth (and certainly cannot host families of birds) because the vast majority of their energy is going into the establishment of their roots.

Last night, though, I was up past midnight reading parenting books. So this morning God’s living Word spoke through the psalmist,  opening the eyes of my heart to my deepest need. I journaled, “God, I’m feeling empty and thirsty. Please forgive me for jumping right into problem solving mode and seeking wisdom apart from You. I have some good parenting strategies. And I’m thankful to be able to learn more. But it’s the fruit of Your Spirit that I’ve been lacking more than anything. I’ve been so impatient. I want others (including my children) to make my life easier, not harder. Your Spirit produces joy but this morning I was struggling to delight even in my own kids. And I’m anxious. I’m anxious about their behavior. About their future. About my performance and competence. About my reputation… I’ve been missing You while looking for solutions in parenting books. But You are the way, the truth, and the life. I need to send my roots down deep into Your word because I know that you reward those who earnestly seek you (Hebrews 11:6), and are absolutely faithful to your promise that anyone who comes to you will be filled and burst forth with your Living Water (John 7:37-39).”

So. This blog is about using stories to invite our kids into God’s great story of redemption. Well, today’s story is one that my kids get to witness, firsthand. This momma is broken but God’s mercies are new every morning! I’d thought I needed strategies, plans, and methods. But I’d somehow missed how distracted I’ve been from my source. So praise be to the God who invites us to “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live” (Isaiah 55:1-3).

Today’s story is also about the brokenness of wisdom in this age. Our minds were created to flourish within the context of a relationship with God. So outside of that context, we cannot trust even our own minds to be working to their full potential. When I’m feeling insecure or out of control, it’s so easy for me to turn first to sources other than the Lord. But even though they can be immensely helpful, neither parenting experts nor my friends have the power to transform this heart of stone into a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 26:36). Neither can they produce the fruit of God’s Spirit in me. And today, that is what this family is needing most. Thanks be to God!

 

So, how are you sending your roots down into the Living Water, these days? If you could use some encouragement in this area I’d love for you to join me as I read and journal my way through the prayer book of Jesus (aka, the Book of Psalms). I’ve been using a really simple method of journaling for 18 years now that I’m attaching here. I think it may have originally came from The Navigators, but I was introduced to it as a required class assignment in college! My husband and I are also reading through Clay and Sally Clarkson’s The Lifegiving Parent with a few other couples. I expect that it may prompt a few blog posts over the next several months, if you want to read along with us.

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