shaping children's faith through story

Tag: sin

Mommy, why didn’t God answer our prayers?

We all know the right answers. God doesn’t give us what we want because God knows what’s best for us. God can answer our prayers with yes, no, or wait. God answers our prayers in ways that we don’t understand.

But this time, I responded differently. For several weeks my kids had seen me praying for someone who ultimately died. And although all of those responses are true, they place the burden of responsibility on God for not stepping in like we had asked, instead of on the enemy where it rightly belongs. Death is the work of the thief who steals, kills, and destroys. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full. So nothing about death was God’s will, except that Jesus submit to its horrors in order to swallow it up forever. God is sovereign over death but not responsible for it.

So this time I reminded them of the Story. I had them tell me how God created a perfect world, where there was no such thing as death, sickness, or pain. And God created us to enjoy this world under God’s leadership. But we wanted to be in charge of our own lives, so God’s perfect creation was broken by sin. But Jesus redeemed us through His death on the cross, and He will someday return to make all things new.

And then as I do with so many other hard topics, I put my grief and confusion in the context of this Story; because we are still waiting for Jesus’ return, our world is still subject to death. And Jesus’ promise wasn’t that we could escape this brokenness, but that because of His victory on the cross we’d never have to endure it alone. And it won’t be like this forever.

Yet we pray for healing because sometimes God breaks in to perform miracles that remind us of who He is and His promise to someday heal and bring life to the whole world! So we hope that this will be one of those times when God breaks in to do something unusual, something miraculous.

And then we probably moved on to noticing the birds out the window. Or talking about the Octonauts’ Captain Barnacle. Or laughing about a funny sound one of us made. How I love our days!

But now between us grownups, I’m going to be really honest. I’ve tracked quite a few miles with the Lord, and my faith has suffered some hard blows because I’ve felt led to pray that people would be healed who have gone on to die. And so I’ve had seasons of really doubting my relationship with God. Maybe God would have healed them if I’d had more faith (like people in Africa). Maybe God would have stepped in if I had exercised more authority (like other denominations). Maybe things would be different if I had fasted more (like the really devoted Christians).

Maybe. But frankly, those theologies haven’t born good fruit in my life. They’ve weighed me down with accusation, filled me with doubt, and created distance between me and my heavenly Father. And that realization has caused me to take a closer look, primarily at biblical teaching but also at my own experiences and the testimonies of others.

So why bring it up on a parenting blog? Well, these experiences impact how I teach my kids to pray for the sick. And while I know that there’s a lot I don’t understand and even more that I could do better, I also know that I’ve been gifted with life experience and a seminary education. So I offer some of my conclusions about the miraculous, here, especially for those of you who might also be asking “Why?”


Miracles are signs that point to who God is and what God is doing (and promises to one day do) in the world. In the second volume of his systematic theology, James McClendon wrote “In Scripture the idea of miracle… or as in John’s Gospel and elsewhere, “sign” (semeion)—does not suppose the irruption of God into a nature from which God is usually absent, but does reckon that God may act within nature (where he is already present) vividly to display the divine intention for nature… Miracles, in short, are signs, divine actions within creation in which the presence of God shines forth in power for (creative, and especially) redemptive ends” (Doctrine 185-186). I was introduced to this idea in seminary, and while it obviously had an impact on me even back then, it has made even more sense as I’ve lived with it over time. For example, the human body is designed for optimum function/ health. All of our systems work together in a synergistic relationship to promote life. But in our broken and fallen world, the body cannot always support life (or heal itself) in the way that it was designed. And so we live with malignant tumors and death. So when my friend’s dad’s stage 4 cancer was miraculously cured without any treatment, this wasn’t God working outside of the natural process, but God powerfully working such that his body was able to act in accordance with God’s divine intention for his body, and also in a prophetic foreshadowing of the ultimate resurrection and healing that will someday come to all who have died in Christ.

Miracles are not normative, but there have also been many times in history of heightened miraculous activity, one of which is prophesied still to come, before the return of Christ. I personally know several people who have seen God answer their prayers for physical healing in miraculous ways, though I do not know that any of my prayers have been answered in this way. Nevertheless, I continue to pray that I will be a part of it! But I also resist the temptation to feel rejected while waiting to see God’s glory in that particular way.

Miracles are God’s grace (and not our right)! I don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others, but I believe our response to healing should always be that of simple gratitude (as opposed to entitlement). God promises to heal when Jesus returns to make all things new. Samuel Whitefield claims that at the cross, Jesus secured the promises that will be fulfilled at his return. It was as if the cross was the betrothal where Jesus paid for and became legally bound to His bride. But just like that bride-to-be, we are still waiting for the fulfillment of some of those promises, one of which is the restoration of our bodies.

God wants us to ask for miracles. The gospels are full of people who pleased Jesus by their faith and asking! Over and over again we are commanded to pray and bring our desires before the throne of grace. Furthermore, the parable of the widow and the unjust judge very specifically teaches us to keep bringing the same requests to God because God is good and wants to respond to our cries for help. Even so, we’re still living in a broken and fallen world. So God’s promise is to be with us in the pain, not remove it from our midst.

And finally, God’s heartbreaking “no” brings us face to face with the devastation of this world’s darkness, that we might bear greater witness to the Light that cannot be overcome. This final conclusion has come into clearer focus for me with this most recent loss. The man whose death prompted my kids’ questions went to be with the Lord on Holy Thursday, while I was preparing our annual Seder dinner. This is an adaption of the symbolic Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples on the night he was betrayed. In it we remember the gift of Jesus’ body and blood that redeemed us from sin and death. So as my heart ached for my friend’s loss, I was reawakened to the depth of our need for the Savior. As articulated by Rachael Denhollander, “We can tend to gloss over the devastation of… suffering… with Christian platitudes like ‘God works all things together for good,’ or ‘God is sovereign.’ Those are very good and glorious biblical truths, but when they are misapplied in a way to dampen the horror of evil they ultimately dampen the goodness of God. Goodness and darkness exist as opposites. If we pretend that the darkness isn’t dark, it dampens the beauty of the light.”

So let us not shy away from the hard parts of the Story. Let us pray boldly for miracles. Let us grieve deeply the brokenness of our fallen world. Let us stand firm in our identity as God’s beloved. And let us celebrate the coming bridegroom King who will defeat death forever!

Why did they put thorns around Jesus’ head? Easter and shame

Last year I had tried to avoid teaching my two year old about the crucifixion, even talking with his Sunday School teachers before Palm Sunday and Easter in order to learn what would be covered in their lessons. My son discovered the illustrations from his children’s Bible on his own.

To quote Daniel Tiger, “I have mixed up feelings” in regards to celebrating Easter with little ones. My questions center around two concerns. First, most toddlers have had few experiences with death. Given their struggle to understand its finality, it seems confusing to introduce the concept using the story of a man who dies only to rise three days later. Second, I am uncomfortable teaching young children about personal sin, guilt, and substitutionary atonement during a developmental phase characterized by a growing awareness of shame and a yet emerging sense of self.

I know that sin has left humanity deeply flawed and in desperate need of salvation. Yet the very first thing the Bible tells us about people is that God described Adam and Eve as “very good.” So I want my children to be deeply rooted in their identity as beloved and created in the image of God before being taught that their personal sinfulness demanded Jesus’ suffering. I have wrestled with  shame my entire life. I can’t help but wonder if some of this wasn’t exacerbated by an early understanding that my sin was responsible for putting Jesus on the cross.

So how does our family do Holy Week? Last year we emphasized Easter as being when we celebrate God bringing new life. We wore new clothes,  celebrated new buds and flowers, and generally just tried to exude inordinate amounts of energy and joy. This year will be very different. In June my grandfather died. Someday I’ll write a post on that [update 2/18/18: How will Jesus get Grandad’s body out of the ground?], but its relevance to Easter is that death and resurrection have been prominent topics of conversation in our home, these last 9 months.  Several days ago I’d mentioned that strawberry season was coming up in June and my three year old asked if June is when Jesus will come back to make all things new!

In Surprised by Hope NT Wright shares the early Church’s understanding that “God was going to do for the whole cosmos what he had done for Jesus at Easter” (93). This has been our emphasis for the past year; someday Jesus is going to come back to make all things new. And when he does, those who loved Jesus (like my grandpa) will come alive again to be with him forever. We have been putting the crucifixion in this context. God created a perfect world; people chose to believe Satan’s lie instead of trusting God, ushering in brokenness, pain, and death; Jesus came to rescue us by trusting God where Adam and Eve failed; the leaders didn’t believe that Jesus was king and so they killed him; God made Jesus alive again; many of Jesus’ friends continue being imprisoned and killed because people still don’t believe that Jesus is king; someday Jesus will return to make all things new.

The Bible story book that we used first to tell the story of Easter was Read Aloud Bible Stories. I loved this one because all it says about the crucifixion is “What a sad day! Bad men didn’t like Jesus. They put him on a cross. And he died.” The rest of the story is about the resurrection. After that we used My First Bible by Good Books. It has since been republished as Lion First Bible. This one is much more involved, but doesn’t yet connect Jesus’ death with the children’s sinfulness. Finally, The Jesus Storybook Bible feels the heaviest of the three we’ve used, but I think it is excellent. It is the first to really mention the crucifixion’s role in God’s plan of redemption, but it is explained in its universal context as opposed to an individualistic one. After tracing sin’s destruction throughout the entire story of the Bible Jones comes to the point of Jesus’ death and explains, “The full force of the storm of God’s fierce anger at sin was coming down. On his own Son. Instead of his people. It was the only way God could destroy sin, and not destroy his children whose hearts were filled with sin” (307).

Of course this is just my opinion and our approach. This year when Adam asks “why” in reference to the particulars of the story (“Why did they put thorns around Jesus’ head? Why did they want him to die?”), I am generally responding with historical and political reasons, rather than theologically interpreted ones (“They were worried that people would start obeying Jesus instead of Caesar,” vs. “Jesus had to take the punishment for our sin.”). Next year will probably be completely different. Just in the last few weeks we’ve started identifying some of his behaviors and attitudes with “sin.” So by next year we may totally feel ready to discuss Jesus’ death in these terms. But for now we’re holding off. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section!

Will I keep people from becoming slaves?

This morning we read the biblical story of little David defeating the giant, Goliath. For the last week or two, a lot of my son’s play has centered around Pharaoh’s army being engulfed in the Red Sea. My three year old son is really into fighting. The first several times I noticed this I tried to discourage it, simply explaining that we don’t fight but rather love people. Having recently turned three, he was absolutely captivated by the story of David and Goliath. I do not know how many times I heard, “Send someone over hear to FIGHT ME!” It didn’t take me long to question my approach.

My parenting changed the day my son happily shared that his highlight had been teaming up with his best buddy in Sunday School to shoot the other kids in their class.  Having completely shielded him from all violence (outside of his children’s Bible) up until this point, I actually ordered Saint George and the Dragon that afternoon. Now instead of discouraging my son’s interest in fighting, I  look for opportunities to celebrate people who use their courage and strength to protect others. Since then we’ve played David and Goliath with play dough. We’ve played David and Goliath using balloons as stones. We’ve played David and Goliath with nothing but our imaginations. You get the picture. Lots of David and Goliath

So back to this morning. We were back to the story of David and Goliath (this time out of The Jesus Storybook Bible ). This particular telling includes the aspect of Goliath’s challenge that if he were to win the Israelites would become the Philistines’ slaves. After reading and discussing a Bible story, we usually end our time by praying. This time I felt stirred to pray specifically for my son. So I got up, placed my hands on those little boy shoulders and prayed that God would continue shaping him into a man after God’s own heart. After we said amen, my three and a half year old asked if he, too, would keep people from becoming slaves. I began my explanation by stumbling around the tragedy of modern-day slavery and oppression before wisely responding, “Hmmm. Give me a minute to think about that.” As soon as I honored my need for quiet, a verse came to mind. “The Bible says that when we choose to disobey God, we become slaves of sin,” I explained. We then talked about how Satan is the great deceiver and his goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. We recalled the serpent’s promise to Adam and Eve in the garden and how Satan tells us us that we’ll be happier if we disobey God, but that it’s a lie only meant to and drag us into slavery and ultimately death. We then returned to the topic of spiritual armor (remember, this kid is really into fighting!) and role played different ways the enemy might try to trick us or those we love and how we can respond with the sword of God’s word that we’ve been hiding in our hearts. It was the coolest few minutes.

I don’t know what God has in store for this kid, but I’ve determined that so long as he continues asking me questions I’ll continue tuning in to the voice of our Shepherd so as to respond to them as faithfully as I can.* What an honor and privilege is mine!

 

*This is not to say that I must give him information beyond my better judgment. One of my “strategies” has been to respond to what is at the heart of a question, as opposed to what he actually asked. For example, his first question after learning that my grandpa had died was “Who is going to eat him? Will it be the worms and the bugs?” I responded by explaining that we’d put Grandad’s body in a special box to be buried in the ground, but then with Jesus’ glorious promise that when he comes back to make all things new, those who love God will come alive again just like Jesus did. I don’t feel that I was being dishonest about the physical process of decomposition, but felt completely justified in responding to a different question than the one he had asked. I’ve written more about this, here.



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