when they ask

shaping children's faith through story

Tag: stories

Can we tell just one more story? Preparing our kids for unknown pressures

May 3, 2018 /

We had just finished reading bedtime stories when my son asked, “Can we tell each other just one more story?” Typically I would have said no; we had our routine and this was probably a stall tactic. But I decided to indulge him. I’d just read Jesus’ warning that the beginning of the Great Tribulation would be signaled by “the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel,” and had been reflecting on different times in history when Christians have been deceived into following leaders who have essentially demanded their worship. And so I began, “One day Jerusalem was besieged by the Babylonians, and four teenage boys were captured and led off far from home. Their names were Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…”

There is so much that I wonder about this story. The Bible describes these four boys as “youths.” All of the sources I’ve read put them between 11-16 years old. How in the world did these teenagers have the discernment and strength to resist the king’s choice food (during their 3 year re-education program), claim that God might reveal Nebuchadnezzar’s dream to Daniel, and then refuse to bow down to the king’s image of gold?

I wonder how they developed the ability to think independently of their peers and those in authority, taking seriously dietary laws and idol worship even as young teenagers living without their family’s guidance. For most of my life I had assumed that they were just maintaining their monotheistic Hebrew identities, but one of the primary reasons that they were in Babylon was because of their own people’s idolatry. When I began telling Adam this story I accidentally identified Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego by their Babylonian names. Their Hebrew names were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. This is significant because it suggests their parents’ deep faith in the one true God. All three names ended in either “ah” (which is shorthand for Jehovah) or “el” (one of the names of God). Most scholars believe the boys to have been the children of Jerusalem’s nobility. They would have been born towards the end of King Josiah’s reign, during which all places of idolatrous worship had been destroyed and the temple was cleansed. Nevertheless, the roots of idolatry ran deep. Two years before Daniel and his friends were exiled, the prophet Jeremiah had stood in the temple calling for repentance in order that God might avert the impending disaster (Jeremiah 26). This had been their world. So I wonder what kind of family culture nurtured such incredible tenacity in a climate of compromise.

Another thing that I wonder is whether they’d ever personally witnessed a miracle. The years immediately leading up to their Babylonian captivity were pretty dark ones, spiritually speaking. Yet when their lives were threatened, “Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him. Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah.  He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon” (Daniel 2:16-18). And God did it! What in the world made Daniel and his friends think that God might actually save them?! Had they ever seen God do such a thing? 

Several years later, their lives were again threatened for their refusal to bow before the king’s golden image. Receiving the contents and interpretation of a dream is one thing, but what from their history allowed them to claim, “our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king” (Daniel 3:17)? Why didn’t they just accept that they were going to be martyred? Had they received a word from the Lord? We know that Daniel had been given the interpretation of dreams, but he wasn’t around and we don’t read anything about his three friends being given similar gifts. Even if they had, what kind of close relationship with God gave them such confidence that they really were hearing from God?

All of these questions lead me to wonder what their previous experiences of God had been and which stories from their history had so strongly shaped their identities and expectations of God. Had they been told about God giving Joseph the meaning of Pharaoh’s dreams? We know that the Passover feast was celebrated after Josiah had the temple cleansed. So had their worldview been formed hearing of God’s great deliverance when their ancestors were slaves in Egypt? Were they so different from my own children who love marching around “Jericho’s wall” (made of either snow or cardboard blocks) and then knocking it down with shouts of triumph? Had they been inspired by Gideon’s (eventual) courage and God’s supernatural deliverance from the Midianites? Did they exercise their young imaginations by fighting Goliath with homemade slingshots? Even while many of their contemporaries worshiped idols had they celebrated God’s victory during the showdown between Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel? I wonder if their parents’ faces lit up with hope while sharing Isaiah’s prophesy that “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you” (Isaiah 43:2, emphasis added). I can’t help but imagine them getting chills while articulating that last promise, fully believing its truth yet unable to even imagine how deeply and personally their children would come to know it in the days ahead.

I obviously do not know the answers to these questions, but they inspire me to nurture my children’s hearts and minds to be able to stand under the pressures of an unknown future. Chances are good that I will get to accompany them through their teenage years, unlike the parents of Daniel and his friends. Even so,  Eugene Peterson claims that “adolescence is the time when we become ourselves. The experiences and training of childhood are reformulated and individualized into a personal identity. ” (Like Dew Your Youth, page 11). My kids’ job will eventually be to reformulate and individualize their faith, but these years are my opportunity to provide the raw materials. And so sometimes I embrace stall tactics to tell just one more story.

How is tonight different than all other nights?

April 1, 2018 /

 

This week we invited three other families with young children to join us for a very simplified version of a Christian Seder. The evening was designed to engage our kids in the telling of redemption’s Story, so as to situate their own lives in the broader context of that continuing drama. If you aren’t familiar with this tradition, I’ve explained it more fully here.

Thus, eight adults and seven (very young!) children gathered around our dinner table, Thursday evening. One key aspect of a Seder is that the youngest child asks four questions which provide the framework for telling the Story. In keeping with the spirit of this tradition, we had assigned one question to each of our three year olds. So candles lit and table set, we joined other families around the world in detailing how this night is different than all other nights.

“Why do we drink wine and grape juice tonight?” Piper began. “Tonight we drink wine and grape juice,” I explained, “because at the last supper Jesus gave wine to his disciples, promising that someday he’d drink with them, again, at the marriage supper of the lamb! Until then, though, we drink remembering the new covenant—God’s promise of forgiveness—established through Jesus’ blood. And so we drink both in anticipation and in remembrance of him.”

And then came my son, “Why do we eat unleavened bread, tonight?” I’d assigned him this question knowing that we’d have just baked the bread together 2 hours prior. And so I explained what he already knew. “Normally we let our bread spend all day rising before we bake it into a nice, puffy loaf,” I smiled. “But tonight we eat unleavened—or unrisen—bread to remember how when the Israelites were freed from Egypt they had to leave quickly, not even having time for their bread to rise! Yeast has also come to represent sin, so on this night we remember Jesus, the sinless one, who said, ‘I am the bread of Life’ and ‘This is my body, broken for you.’ And so we eat, recalling both the Israelites’ freedom and Jesus’ love.”

Kai was next to ask, “Why are we eating bitter herbs, tonight?” Furrowing my brow I responded, “tonight we remember the bitterness of Pharaoh’s cruel slavery when the Israelites were in Egypt, as well as the bitterness of our bondage to sin.” Here my expression lightened and I tried to smile while explaining that we get to eat the bitter herbs with a sweet apple salad called charoset because God, who works all things together for the good of those who love him, can bring sweetness even out of the most bitter circumstances.

Finally it was Evy’s turn to wonder, “Why are we dipping our herbs twice, tonight?” Again, I tried to communicate yet another tension in our faith. “This salt water reminds us of the Israelites tears, whereas the parsley represents new life. We, too, experience sadness in this broken world, but Jesus promised that just as he was resurrected to new life, someday he will come back and make us new. In this day he will wipe away all of our tears and we will live with him forever!”

After these four questions we enjoyed a hearty meal of lamb, chicken, mashed potatoes, and roasted carrots (provided by all of the women present; when people offer to contribute I generally don’t refuse!). Toward the end of dinner I explained that about 40 years after Jesus died Jerusalem was attacked and the Jewish people were scattered into all different countries where they lived in exile for almost 1900 years. It was only 70 years ago, this spring, that they were finally able to go home. While  in these foreign countries, they ended each Passover meal by expressing the hope, “Next year in Jerusalem!” “We, too, are living as foreigners,” I reminded those around my table, “away from our eternal home with Jesus. So let us conclude with our own toast, ‘Next year in the New Jerusalem!’” And with that we toasted and ate dessert.

I felt really good about the night! The entire dinner lasted just over an hour, which was perfect for our little ones. I think the formative value in such a tradition isn’t so much the experience, in and of itself, but feeling included in a larger group and the repetition through the years. If you read my post about the crucifixion, you’ll appreciate that described some elements using language that would most likely go over young children’s heads, while allowing the evening to be meaningful for family members of all ages. I would have loved to incorporate more space for silent reflection, but with so many little ones we moved things along pretty quickly. Please feel free to use anything in this post that you find helpful! I developed my script borrowing from several websites, as well as my own sense of the story. The blog that I relied on most heavily was Ann Voskamp. Her liturgy is stunningly beautiful. I would love to borrow even more of it when our kids get a bit older, but given our context I didn’t feel I could be quite that poetic. But please check hers out!

He is Risen!

Will I keep people from becoming slaves?

March 15, 2018 /

This morning we read the biblical story of little David defeating the giant, Goliath. For the last week or two, a lot of my son’s play has centered around Pharaoh’s army being engulfed in the Red Sea. My three year old son is really into fighting. The first several times I noticed this I tried to discourage it, simply explaining that we don’t fight but rather love people. Having recently turned three, he was absolutely captivated by the story of David and Goliath. I do not know how many times I heard, “Send someone over hear to FIGHT ME!” It didn’t take me long to question my approach.

My parenting changed the day my son happily shared that his highlight had been teaming up with his best buddy in Sunday School to shoot the other kids in their class.  Having completely shielded him from all violence (outside of his children’s Bible) up until this point, I actually ordered Saint George and the Dragon that afternoon. Now instead of discouraging my son’s interest in fighting, I  look for opportunities to celebrate people who use their courage and strength to protect others. Since then we’ve played David and Goliath with play dough. We’ve played David and Goliath using balloons as stones. We’ve played David and Goliath with nothing but our imaginations. You get the picture. Lots of David and Goliath

So back to this morning. We were back to the story of David and Goliath (this time out of The Jesus Storybook Bible ). This particular telling includes the aspect of Goliath’s challenge that if he were to win the Israelites would become the Philistines’ slaves. After reading and discussing a Bible story, we usually end our time by praying. This time I felt stirred to pray specifically for my son. So I got up, placed my hands on those little boy shoulders and prayed that God would continue shaping him into a man after God’s own heart. After we said amen, my three and a half year old asked if he, too, would keep people from becoming slaves. I began my explanation by stumbling around the tragedy of modern-day slavery and oppression before wisely responding, “Hmmm. Give me a minute to think about that.” As soon as I honored my need for quiet, a verse came to mind. “The Bible says that when we choose to disobey God, we become slaves of sin,” I explained. We then talked about how Satan is the great deceiver and his goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. We recalled the serpent’s promise to Adam and Eve in the garden and how Satan tells us us that we’ll be happier if we disobey God, but that it’s a lie only meant to and drag us into slavery and ultimately death. We then returned to the topic of spiritual armor (remember, this kid is really into fighting!) and role played different ways the enemy might try to trick us or those we love and how we can respond with the sword of God’s word that we’ve been hiding in our hearts. It was the coolest few minutes.

I don’t know what God has in store for this kid, but I’ve determined that so long as he continues asking me questions I’ll continue tuning in to the voice of our Shepherd so as to respond to them as faithfully as I can.* What an honor and privilege is mine!

 

*This is not to say that I must give him information beyond my better judgment. One of my “strategies” has been to respond to what is at the heart of a question, as opposed to what he actually asked. For example, his first question after learning that my grandpa had died was “Who is going to eat him? Will it be the worms and the bugs?” I responded by explaining that we’d put Grandad’s body in a special box to be buried in the ground, but then with Jesus’ glorious promise that when he comes back to make all things new, those who love God will come alive again just like Jesus did. I don’t feel that I was being dishonest about the physical process of decomposition, but felt completely justified in responding to a different question than the one he had asked. I’ve written more about this, here.

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